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I'm not good enough Monday, Mar. 26, 2007 11:24 P.M.
It�s been half a yr with Wei & most of the time, all seems well. Well enough to deceive me into thinking that I�ve recovered. Yet there are days where I still find tears rolling down the sides of my face when I�m hidden with my hair in the corner of the train or in the darkness where all is asleep. Last night, I took some sedatives & a bunch of sleeping pills. Like before, I ended up sleeping the whole day. Missed the morning tuition � like I care. Wei woke me up to have lunch � I carried on sleeping till he pestered me up. Went for the afternoon tuition assignment - all I want is to sleep. Went back to my own place & fell asleep with my clothes & all. Woke up & explained to parents that I�m just too tired to make my way back to Wei�s place & assured them that all is well � I�m such a liar. What�s wrong with me? This is what is wrong with me.
People are so scary. I don't want to be with them. I want my room to be sealed off from the rest of the world. I don't want to be near people. I don't have the courage to face the fact that I've failed their expectations again. God, pls seal up my room.
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