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He She
Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2006
3:33 p.m.

Love this song. Wei said he'll find the guitar chords of this song for me so that he can play and I can sing. SUPER!

Sat morning tots
Saturday, Nov. 25, 2006
7:33 a.m.

Elva, the photocopy lady whom I�ve befriended over the years in school, tried to contact me last night. Due to the fact that I switched my phone to the silent mode, I did not take her call. It was a good thing I did. My guess is that the word has gotten out that I�m resigning & she called to ask abt me.

Resigning is indeed a good decision because I�m still weak emotionally. I know that from the fact that my muscle spasms returned the day I endured a bad day at work & home. Though Wei kept checking on me, my heart wasn�t at ease. After all, I�ve ever been tricked into believing that there�ll be someone to catch me when I fall, only to be told to fend for myself when shit happens.

Often it's those we trust that break our trust.

This morning, Wei told me abt a nightmare he just had concerning me. While I comforted him with kisses and hugs, I did not promise him anything. To me, what are promises and words? It�s the things we do now and in time to come that is real.

Me: Not that I�m comparing you with Ro but I�m glad you are different. You don�t leave me to fend for myself, insisting I�ll be independent. I feel free to be what I am in front of you. But then, Ro may be harsh on me because of the issues he has in his life.

Wei: We all have issues in our life.

True, we all have issues in our lives and we tend to see our problems unique from others. However, I choose not to let my issues intrude into this new life that I�m building for myself now. I might have my fears but I try not to let it take charge. Right now, I just want to indulge in the simple pleasures of life. Enjoy the chaos and disturbances his niece and nephew bring into his house each weekend. Enjoy the peace and quiet of his place. Enjoy being cared for by Wei. Enjoy the little games we play when we are together.

Life is short. Play hard.

NINJA
Monday, Nov. 20, 2006
6:00 p.m.

Hee...my 1st time chatting online with a microphone and I can hear everything in Wei's office. He took off the microphone on his side so that people can't hear things on my side. This is so NINJA!

Today wasn't a good day for me but Wei distracted me from my dark musings by letting me be entertained as a 'ninja' in his workplace.

He's so full of ideas.

cheerleaders
Monday, Nov. 13, 2006
8:45 p.m.

Spent the day doing some last minute brush up with the cheerleaders in my school.Most of them are students I've taught last yr. I shall miss them.

Competition tomorrow. I hope they will enjoy themselves. All the best my girls!

I choose
Thursday, Nov. 09, 2006
9:13 p.m.

�All songs have to end, is there any reason not to enjoy its music?�

I tell myself that whenever the shadows of the past cast its gloom on me. I was hurt so badly that my family is now weary of how my relationship with Wei will go. They keep reminding me that the beginning is always sweet.

Don�t I know that? I�m the one who wakes up everyday with that scar on my wrist. Don�t you think I�m scared? I am. The only reason why I entered into the relationship with Wei is that I�ve known him all these years and he�s always there for me as long as I need him. I don�t think it�s possible to put myself in another person�s hand if it has been another person.

I choose to take the risk to love again because that�s how I choose to live my life.

I choose to enjoy the music instead of worrying how it�ll end.

I choose the one who held my hand thru one of the most difficult time of my life.

I choose to put my trust in you.

I choose you.

Yes, you are right. Words mean nothing. Only time and actions will prove it all. After all, I've been tricked ever so often into believing that I'll reach Point B but alas, never caught even a slight glimpse of it before.Too many heartaches and promises that were not acted out have made me too frightened to enjoy falling in love as it could and should be.(words by Rainia)

We all need time.

Elmo's Song
Sunday, Nov. 05, 2006
10:31 p.m.

Today was a crazy day where Wei and I let our hair down and went doing silly things. He was very entertained when I sang the Elmo song to him.

Quite an addictive song right? I think I should add the lyrics to "lalala Ally song...". Hee hee.

find it or lose it
Wednesday, Nov. 01, 2006
9:48 p.m.

And Hansel said to Gretel, 'Let us drop these breadcrumbs... so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.'

This year.. I lost my way. The journey lasted twelve months. Sometimes I travelled alone, sometimes, there were others who took the wheel -- and took my heart. But when the destination was reached, it wasn�t me who arrived...it wasn't me at all. I lost myself.

Right now, it seems I have two choices: find the person I used to be... or lose that person completely