Little bits of life
Little bits of life
Little bits of life
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Blew a fuse yesterday afternoon, after we lost each other at the supermarket. Though the whole episode seems to paint me in a bad role, I just couldn�t apologise. Hoping for someone to help me with the groceries & yet ended up with me lugging the stuff home. Then upon reaching home, finding him playing computer games with piles of clothes waiting to be cleared. Fuse blew big. This got to be the men are from mars, women-venus-kind-of-thing. Men are simply oblivious to certain things while women are nit-pickers in those areas. Of course, we never let ill feelings stand long between us so the whole episode blew over pretty fast but I guess some feelings of injustice still linger in me & so that�s why I�m here in the wee hours of the night, blogging to let out some air before I can truly rest the case & go back to sleep. Not here to justify I�m right he�s wrong kind of thing. Pls don�t misunderstand. Alvin�s a great guy & I�ve my flaws. I just feel that there�s no exact right or wrong in my-fuse-blew situation. Yes, I blew my temper & he didn�t. So blowing temper makes me bad-tempered? Maybe but somehow, I don�t think anyone can tolerate walking home hot & tired, coming home to see no aid given in the household chores & your loved one enjoying himself, totally engrossed in his own world. Of course he DID helped me with the chores while I was ranting away (that earned him brownie points) but it�s the fact of walking home to that scenario that really had me so upset. No dear, I don�t think you have no temper, an easy pushover. Like what I said earlier, it�s really that scenario, that condition I was in that tipped me over to the edge. Probably the unhappiness I�ve been feeling in the previous blog helped contribute in the fuse-blew-case. Sigh. What a series of I�m-feeling-sucky days. (0) Comments so far
 This year�s Christmas is the same as the previous years that we had but much to my disappointment, the feel was different. Ever since dear has changed his job, his temper has been rather short, less considerate & less tolerant to my whinings. Honeymoon period over? Nevertheless, we still went through the routine of fixing up our own candlelight dinner. I think I�ll cancel that ritual for next year since Alvin seems none too keen about the joint effort. I�m feeling pretty miserable now because I don�t understand the change in him. He used to insist on communicating but recently, he�s been less communicative. When will his bursts of moodiness fade?
Katherine Anne Porter once said: There seems to be a kind of order in the universe... in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own right and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own. I wonder� do we ever look at a picture of ourselves and see a stranger in the background? Probably not. It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you. We're always in a hurry to grow up, to go places, and to get ahead. To get ahead, what do they do? Belittle others so as to feel better abt themselves? Currently, I�m feeling kinda peeved after Alvin shared with me an encounter with a snubby, nose-in-the-air SMU student whom he knows & how some of those students there treat the elderly cleaners there with disrespect. What do they HAVE to do that? University students. HIGHLY educated but lacking in many, many ways. Well done. I love my dear a lot. Even though he thinks little of himself, I still love him for what he is. He has a big & forgiving heart. Peace-loving but will stand up for justice instead of turning a blind eye to it. I like to see him as a steady beacon of light in the midst of the chaos. The world may measure him according to their standards but to me, I know he�s walking the right path by being a good honest man.
Hubby�s break has ended 2 days ago & yesterday was his 2nd day at work in his new job. He was so tired that he went to bed at 10pm. I could have turned in early for bed except for the fact that I HAD to finish that piece of novel I picked up this afternoon. I'm like this, once I've started on a novel, I just can't put it down. I�ve not devoured a novel the way I did tonight ever since my early days as a student. Nor blog as often as before. Suddenly, I quite miss those little inexpensive hobbies that I usually indulge in as a student. I think I�m gonna cut down on online gaming & take a walk down the memory lane again. Ally hasn�t really changed much despite of all the bad things that happened to her. The only changes she has is that she�s no longer crying & is a happier married woman now. Ally lost her identity but she�s sure on the road to getting it back! Gambatte! |
